Surrounding yourself with positive people might be a given but when it comes down to it, I’m surprised at how many people hang unto abusive relationships that brings out the worst in them or friendships that that are not based on trust, love & respect. My brother and law and I don’t get along because we have different values and I don’t think he treats my sister the way she deserves. One of the things we disagree on is the type of people we should keep in our lives. He believes you need to be friends with everybody and also keep the ‘bad ones’ in your life. One of his friends scammed him for money yet they’re still friends. I completely dissagree and Les Brown’s inspirational quote underlines my point exactly:
“Shut down the drama in your life. It’s unhealthy. Arguing and fighting creates dis-ease. Stay away from negative, selfish, energy-draining relationships that do not honor you, or even worse ~ use you, abuse you and take advantage of your kindness. Don’t buy into their negativity or guilt trips. Resolve to live in peace.
Don’t attempt to change others. There Is enough work to do on yourself. Develop relationships where all parties can grow and create an atmosphere of mutual respect, love, and appreciation. Free yourself from inner chaos by meditation, relaxation and stillness. What you create inside of yourself will manifest outside yourself. Create a sanctuary where you can live in peace, relax your mind, revive your spirit and renew your purpose. You have GREATNESS within you!!”
Birds of a feather flock together
Like attracts like and I do believe that relationships are mirrors that are here to teach us something. Heal wounds from the past, push you to the edge so you can finally stand up for yourself, ‘abuse’ you so you can learn to love yourself, or make you miserable so you can learn that happiness comes from the inside. Every time you learn the lesson you’ve reached a next level. See it as a playstation game but then in real life. There are different challenges we need to overcome but each time we learn from it the next level rewards us with new gifts and lessons to learn.
If you’re growing, on the journey to make yourself and others happy, how could you even tolerate being with someone that doesn’t contribute to that happiness? Why would you settle for anything less? Don’t you think you deserve better than stress, fights or distrust?
If these kind of people are in your life look at the lesson. Don’t judge it because they’re obviously there for a reason. When I’m faced with a friendship gone bad I ask myself ‘What was the lesson here?’
I have trust issues and one of my limiting beliefs is ‘I’m on my own‘. The two combined resulted in friends that were jealous of my success, proved that they were not worth of my trust and that I was in fact ‘on my own’. Being able to trust people is an ongoing journey and is something I’m working on. When it comes to my ‘I’m on my own’ belief I realized that’s false. I’m surrounded by so many wonderful people that bring out the best in me, love & support me! It feels great to be loved
13 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Dumping A (Boy/Girl)Friend
How do you know when to cut ties with someone. You’ve shared laughs and cries, good and bad moments and it basically sucks to come to a point where you ask yourself ‘would I be better off without this person in my life?‘ When you come to this point it’s because there have been too many moments that made you realize this and let’s face it, dumping someone is not something anybody enjoys!
If you’re considering a break up, ask yourself this:
1. Does she/he bring out the best in me? Do you feel like dancing the happy Carlton dance?
2. Is the relationship energizing or draining?
3. Does the thought of your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend fill you with happiness or stress?
4. Do I feel comfortable with her/him?
5. Does she/he make you feel bad on the regular?
6. Did I do something to create the current situation?
7. Am I staying friends/staying in this relationship out of obligation?
8. Can I heal the relationship or is the damage too great?
9. Have I been supportive of my friend/boyfriend/girlfriend?
10. Has my friend/boyfriend/girlfriend consistently not been happy for me?
11. Can I trust him/her?
12. Does the good she/he brings to your life outweigh the bad?
13. Would some time apart do the trick?
Surround yourself with people who make you happy…
“People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.” – Karl Marc
Who you choose to surround yourself with impacts your life for the good or bad. If you aim to create a life filled with success, happiness and love that does not go hand in hand with jealous friends, negative or judging people. How can you stay focused and continue to grow while you get distracted with negative relationships that you decided to keep in your life? And the effect is often times subtle and it isn’t until after you broke of the relationship that you note the difference. I’m happy that I’m surrounded by happy souls that support and love me and inspire me with their journey to success and love.
How do I Deal With a Negative Family Member?
You can’t distance yourself from all negative relationships because some will be family members and family reunions and holidays will bring you together even if you would like to avoid it at all costs. There’s no need to reinforce the negative ties you have with this person by judging them or feeling bad about it. Because then it’s like you hang a lock on the both of you and the two of your will be energetically tied together. I do that as well sometimes, when I start to rerun conversations in my head and feeling bad about it. To what avail? I increase my stress levels while the other person is probably just enjoying a nice day.
Clear up the negative energy surrounding the relationship. Forgive yourself for hanging unto it and forgive the other person for whatever damage they have done. By doing this you will see that even if you’re in the same room the other won’t impact you as much because when you change your energy and what you bring into that ‘relationship’ the other can’t help but change because the input is different. It’s like when you switch from R&B to rock music, would you continue to dance the same dance?
Have you ever dumped a friend? If so, what made you decide this?