I’m blessed in many ways and when I look back I must say that I’ve succeeded to manifest the major things I wanted: studying in Lisbon for 6 months, working & living in Rio de Janeiro for 6 months, moving to Holland, great jobs, my house, loving friends, trips and wonderful opportunities. When I use the law of attraction I state my wishes (often times by writing lists), visualize and feel it and then I receive my cosmic order. But there’s one thing in between that is still a pain point in the process: the waiting. I’m impatient and when I want something I love to have it right here right now. But there’s wisdom and grace in the waiting because it has always taught me something I needed to learn before I could grow into my dream and be able to fully receive it.
I remember a couple of years ago I was talking to a friend and we decided to choose songs that defined who we were. He said ‘The Glamorous Life‘ and ‘Control’ totally defined me. I agreed on the first song but control?? I taught I was easy peazy, go with the flow Jocy, so how does control fit in that picture? He gave me food for thought and after asking a few friends they did say that I know what I want and how I want it.
I am a control freak and this becomes really clear when waiting on others or events to happen. The thought that I can’t influence things makes me nervous. It also makes me take on too much stuff which I could ask help for because 1. I don’t like asking for help and feel bad doing so and 2. if I do it I know it will be done.
As you manifest they say that when you hold your vision you need to let go as the ones who are sure of the outcome can afford the wait. Makes total sense but sometimes it’s hard to let go because it feels counterintuitive, like I’m giving up almost. But when I let go (and I always do in the end even if it takes ages) a vacuum is created that is then filled with the thing I intended to manifest. So why do I repeat this same mistake every time I manifest?
Even though most of the things I wanted have manifested there’s always a point in the process where I find myself doubting the end result and if it will happen. I start with fearless enthusiasm, go to mellow I’m cool to ‘when will it happen?’. I believe in divine timing but when it takes long I start to equate a long wait with it’s not going to happen even though that’s rarely the case.
When I know something is going to happen for sure I can go on with my life without worrying about it. When I think about it, it fills me with happiness and I’m ready to go on with my day. But then there are times when I really, really want something and feel as if my life depends on it then I laser focus on it every minute of the day ’till it drives me crazy. This never works though, plus I stress myself out in the process losing momentum in manifesting what I do want.
Am I worthy of it?
My trust issues are ‘I’m not good enough’s best friends. When one shows up the other is never too far behind. I was brought up with the idea that you need to deserve something good to happen to you but in reality the intensity of your wish does the work (if you’re a good or bad person).
In my case it’s also a form of misplaced guilt. I’m blessed in so many ways and compared to others I have a good life. I wish everybody could live the life they wanted and unconsciously it often times holds me back. I don’t want my life to be ‘too good’ to avoid envy, bad vibes or isolating myself from others. Consciously I know I want what I want and I deserve it, but deep down, there’s a part in me that feels this way even if it doesn’t make any sense at all!
Lead by example
It makes my heart smile when people say I’m an inspiration to them. I follow my heart so what’s so special about that? But it’s sad to see that so many people don’t and settle for mediocrity of life and society’s rules. Never thought that staying true to myself and following my heart would be one of the hardest battles I would have to win every time but it’s hard when you’re faced with the reality of bills, routine, family and friends and so on.
Life is short so if there’s something that makes your heart sing, follow your bliss. Whatever makes you happy will bring more happiness in other people’s lives because when you light up so does the world around you. And we NEED more happy souls to shift the energy and bring good vibes on earth
Have an inspiring and happy week!
Thanks for reading