My whole life I have followed my heart even though it was rarely what others wanted me to do. In my last year of college I went to study for six months in Lisbon even though most people in my family asked me not to. When I finished college I lived for 6 months in Rio, even though everybody told me it was too dangerous, I should start working and live the ‘normal’ life. If you’re happy and aren’t bothering anyone why do some people still feel the need to criticize and tell you what you should do? Is there 1 way of living?
Ready To Ruffle Some Feathers?
My life is anything but traditional which some people find quite disturbing I’m 29, bought a house, am single and last year I quit my full time job at a PR agency to follow my dream and become a full time blogger. Oh my! I surrounded myself with friends who love and respect me for who I am and my mum and sister do too. But…when I have family visiting from Cape Verde I’m faced with the critics that feel the urge to criticize my way of life. Which is what happened last week. I was happy to see my aunt and I still am but raised a few eyebrows on some of her comments and felt frustrated many times. Why?
I love my natural (4A/4B) hair but in Cape Verde I feel that natural hair is still taboo. My mum’s generation is obsessed with straight hair which to me feels more like a inferiority complex as they perceive black natural hair as ‘old’ and ‘nappy’ while straight hair is ‘good’ and ‘beautiful’. According to my aunt my hair is ‘nappy’, ‘old’ and ugly even though she didn’t state the last one. If she doesn’t like it, fine! not everybody has to but why criticize someone’s hair like that? It’s funny because I get compliments on my hair all the time but not from my ‘traditional’ family which I feel will torture me forever with their mean comments. Sigh…
Will debate this in another upcoming post
“Why Are You Still Single?”
If you’re 29 and a woman how is it even possible that you’re single?! Luckily my mum doesn’t pressure me but this was another discussion point with my aunt. As if having a boyfriend is a guarantee for a good life and happiness? I hardly know any couples that are truly happy as most people settle for less but a lot of people still associate relationships with being happy. I don’t want to stay single for the rest of my life but I refuse to settle and be unhappy in a relationship while my life is great right now. Nobody will extract from that so if I can’t find a man who can add value to my life he’s not entering
I can’t even imagine what it would be like if I was faced with this type of pressure all the time. When it comes to dating I feel this would force certain relationships because one of the two feels pressured to have a relationship. If you don’t pay attention the voices of others become so dominant in your head that you live to others expectations of you. I’m pretty certain that those are also the people who will have a midlife crisis around 40 as they realized their whole life was a waste as they never did what they truly wanted and therefore have no clew who they are.
Don’t Be Afraid To Stand Out
If you stand out from the pack people might criticize you, try to diminish your value, exclude you or simply admire your guts. Sounds kind of silly to think that ‘being you’ and staying true to yourself can be one of the hardest things to do in this life as 90% of all people will try to persuade you to do otherwise. Don’t let this stop you. Seek likeminded people, friends who will love you for who you are and support you. You might be hanging with the wrong crowd so don’t be afraid to let go and spread your wings. Life is as beautiful as you make it so don’t let it go to waste
Photo credits: Pinterest